Author: jazzjenart

neurodivergent-crow:

androidboy:

androidboy:

a few days ago i was walkin past a basketball court and a ball Flew at me and i

1) didn’t flinch

2) caught the ball

3) threw it back at the guy

4) responded to his “thanks bro” with a nod

it was like the ghost of some guy named chad took over me so i didn’t like embarrass myself

a bro talked to me today and it caught me v off guard but instead of my voice rising an octave it dropped an octave and i suddenly was effortlessly speaking Bro™ back to him. this resulted in a very positive interaction

thanks, chad

Reblog to be possessed by Good Ghost Chad in your hour of need

noelleian:

recoil-operated:

mojave-red:

rutabegaville:

mojave-red:

rutabegaville:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

i have 15 years’ worth of outstanding library fines in three separate cities and it’s my hope that eventually a bounty hunter librarian will come to collect and we’ll get in a bar fight and fall in love

I also can’t rent movies in two different towns so there’s that.

I’m newly terrified by the implication that librarians aren’t people and I’ve misjudged what exactly I’m up against

You should be very afraid

In a world of outstanding Library fines, one group banded together to right these wrongs. They are the Library Bounty Hunters featuring Conan the Librarian, Dewey Decimal and Card the Cataloger.  

Conan kicks the door in. Dewey steps forward. “2 dollars please.”

Card stands by with the Book of Fines.

I’m dying at the two dollars reference

About 18 years ago I took a book out of a library in Virginia. 3 years ago I found that book and decided to make a phone call… They charge $0.15 a day for overdue books- she looked it up and I owe them $5,470.

Actually it’s $5. But if they didn’t have a cap then I’d owe $5,470.

Conan the Librarian.

the-real-todd-howard:

the-black-melody:

fucking-katya:

riverdalelockscreens:

yolkygoblin:

all-the-hp-love:

remus-christmasjumpers-lupin:

its-murderous-business:

evantheterror:

i-guess-im-okay:

gingerb3ard:

the1975-bastille:

azkabanescapee:

carbonated-milk:

hey if ur ever feelin shitty use this

Holy shit I’m trying not to cry.

i really needed this one tonight

omfg

Do it!!!

I need to cry

EVERYONE DO IT

I fully expected to be Rick rolled and I was instead very, very pleased

DO IT

@fairyfairypie @fadeslikewhispers @tobilovesturtles

this is so pure

Y E S

@wow-very-emo-such-bands @asupershadow957 @the-real-todd-howard @marlenahd @gerardway2004haircut 

This is so nice

squidpop:

thejazzykittykat:

verbivore8642:

brigwife:

kidouyuuto:

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple

French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme 

*800 years of war*

Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.” 

“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.

Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”

W H E E Z E