“em this gonna be
weird but i just sat down on the toilet and then james called and hes on
the doorstep. could you let him in? beware, he’s dressed as freddie
mercury,”
“The whole thing’s a fucking mess Taika” is my new life slogan. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love this
Honestly never occurred to me that every time Mjolnir comes back to Thor’s hand, Hemsworth has to hold out his hand in total confidence and someone off camera has to just fucking launch this hammer at him.
One of my favorite phrases my Creative Writing professor had for when you’re writing fantasy is ‘giving your story a Flux Capacitor’.
Because it’s not real, it doesn’t exist. But the way it’s thrown into Back to the Future, at no point does it throw the audience off or suspend any more disbelief than time travel would. You believe Doc when he says he created the Flux Capacitor – the thing that makes time travel possible, because the universe never questions him.
So it essentially means like, there are going to be elements to your universe that are just not gonna make any sense, even if you set up a whole system based on it. And the only way to make it work is completely own it. You cannot second-guess your system or else the reader will too. You can give it the strangest explanation, but write it like you own it.
Dogs on TV always look so stiff. Like they’re supposed to be just sitting there but you can tell that the dog is like “!!!! Am good boy!!! Am hold position!!! Am look off stage at handler!!! Hi handler!!! Ready your finest treats for the good boy!!!”
My favorite are dogs who are supposed to be fierce but are so clearly playing at it. Just dubbing in growls can’t change that butt-wiggle of “I’m doing THE THING and soon I’ll get PRAISE and play with MY TOY”
Yes. This too.
In the Lion the Witch and the Wardobe movie (the one with Tilda Swinton, not the BBC one) the wolves all have CGI tails. Because they’re actually Malamute or Huskie crosses and wouldn’t stop wagging their goddamn tails all the time because they were so excited to be playing with all these nice people on this nice set with their nice handlers just out of shot holding lots of nice sausage.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.”
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Yooooooooooo now THIS is the kind of blonde jokes I’m about
My favourite:
A gorgeous blonde walks into a bank in New York. She asks to speak to a loan officer, and explains she’s going out of town for business for an extended duration and needs to borrow $5,000.
The loan officer says that he’ll be happy to set it up for her, but that he’ll need some form of collateral. Without skipping a beat, the blonde reaches into her purse and hands over the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce.
Once the transaction is completed, the blonde leaves and the bank staff have a laugh at her expense— after all, what sort of idiot uses a $250,000 car as collateral for a $5,000 loan? Nevertheless, they drive the car down into the Bank’s vaults. “Well”, they say, “it’s a good thing she’s pretty.”
A month later, the blonde returns, pays down the $5,000 loan and the interest, which abouts to $15.00.
As they wait for her car to be returned, the loan officer works up the courage to ask. “Miss, we did the research and it turns out you’re a millionaire. Why on earth would you need a loan?”
She laughs. “I don’t. But where else in New York could I leave my car for a month, pay $15.00 and still expect to have it there when I get back?”
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