A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other.

appropriately-inappropriate:

daenerys-stormborn-queen-of-aros:

the-bored-cat:

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”

This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.”

She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Yooooooooooo now THIS is the kind of blonde jokes I’m about

My favourite:

A gorgeous blonde walks into a bank in New York. She asks to speak to a loan officer, and explains she’s going out of town for business for an extended duration and needs to borrow $5,000.

The loan officer says that he’ll be happy to set it up for her, but that he’ll need some form of collateral. Without skipping a beat, the blonde reaches into her purse and hands over the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce.

Once the transaction is completed, the blonde leaves and the bank staff have a laugh at her expense— after all, what sort of idiot uses a $250,000 car as collateral for a $5,000 loan? Nevertheless, they drive the car down into the Bank’s vaults. “Well”, they say, “it’s a good thing she’s pretty.”

A month later, the blonde returns, pays down the $5,000 loan and the interest, which abouts to $15.00.

As they wait for her car to be returned, the loan officer works up the courage to ask. “Miss, we did the research and it turns out you’re a millionaire. Why on earth would you need a loan?”

She laughs. “I don’t. But where else in New York could I leave my car for a month, pay $15.00 and still expect to have it there when I get back?”