noelleian:

recoil-operated:

mojave-red:

rutabegaville:

mojave-red:

rutabegaville:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

i have 15 years’ worth of outstanding library fines in three separate cities and it’s my hope that eventually a bounty hunter librarian will come to collect and we’ll get in a bar fight and fall in love

I also can’t rent movies in two different towns so there’s that.

I’m newly terrified by the implication that librarians aren’t people and I’ve misjudged what exactly I’m up against

You should be very afraid

In a world of outstanding Library fines, one group banded together to right these wrongs. They are the Library Bounty Hunters featuring Conan the Librarian, Dewey Decimal and Card the Cataloger.  

Conan kicks the door in. Dewey steps forward. “2 dollars please.”

Card stands by with the Book of Fines.

I’m dying at the two dollars reference

About 18 years ago I took a book out of a library in Virginia. 3 years ago I found that book and decided to make a phone call… They charge $0.15 a day for overdue books- she looked it up and I owe them $5,470.

Actually it’s $5. But if they didn’t have a cap then I’d owe $5,470.

Conan the Librarian.